Your baby doesn't "hate" sleep
/Be honest, are guilty of saying “my baby hates sleep”? As I sleep coach, I hear this WEEKLY!! I read regularly in Mom FB groups and get inquiries all the time with some form of this phrase. So many parents are convinced that their baby/toddler/child hates sleep or doesn’t NEED much sleep.
I hate to be the bearer of bad (or good?!) news, but children of all ages NEED sleep and WANT to sleep… often times they just don’t know HOW to sleep well on their own.
Helping an infant or toddler learn HOW to sleep is what we do and it looks differently for each child and family we work with. This can be accomplished in a variety of different ways and in my experience there is no “one size fits all” solution, but I’m here to share some great tips with you to get you started.
Before I jump into the tips and tricks, I want to debunk this common misconception: your baby doesn’t hate sleep. In fact, babies, like adults, need ample sleep for healthy growth and development. So, why the apparent resistance to sleep? Well, the reasons are as varied as the tiny individuals themselves.
Developmental Leaps: Babies undergo rapid developmental changes, and these leaps can temporarily disrupt sleep patterns. New skills and cognitive milestones can cause excitement or frustration, impacting the ease with which your baby drifts off to sleep.
Sensory Overload: Babies are sensory beings, and the world around them can sometimes be overwhelming. Bright lights, loud noises, or even the touch of certain fabrics can affect their ability to settle into sleep.
Hunger and Discomfort: The most basic needs can interfere with a baby's sleep. Hunger, a wet diaper, or uncomfortable clothing can all turn bedtime into a battle.
Sleep Associations: Babies form associations with sleep – the smell of a parent, a particular pacifier, or the gentle hum of a white noise machine. These associations can be comforting but may lead to difficulties if they are disrupted.
Sleep Environment: The sleep space itself plays a significant role. An uncomfortable mattress, inconsistent room temperature, or lack of darkness can hinder a baby's ability to sleep soundly.
Now that we've laid the groundwork, let's explore practical tips to transform bedtime into a positive experience for you and your baby.
Create Predictability
Routine is the key to restful nights. Establish a consistent bedtime routine that signals the transition from wakefulness to sleep. This could include a warm bath, a gentle massage, or a few bedtime stories. Keep the routine to 20-ish minutes so you don’t risk pushing them past their tired window. Consistency creates predictability, helping your baby understand that it's time to unwind.
Timing is Everything
Babies often give subtle cues when they're tired. Look out for yawning, rubbing eyes, or staring off into space. Responding to these cues by initiating the bedtime routine at the ideal moment can make the transition to sleep go much more smoothly.
A Comfortable Sleep Environment
Ensure that your baby's sleep space is cozy. Invest in a firm & breathable mattress, use soft sheets, and regulate the room temperature to a comfortable level. Use soft lighting during the bedtime routine and buy some good blackout curtains to create a soothing, sleep-inducing atmosphere.
Build Independence
Teaching your baby to self-settle is a valuable skill that fosters independence. Gradually introduce comfort objects, like a favorite lovey, and give your baby the opportunity to practice falling asleep on their own. It doesn’t have to involve crying - simply try laying your baby down for sleep and see what happens. Sometimes they may fall asleep without help, other times they’ll need support from you. But ultimately, the more practice they get, the easier it will become.
Address Hunger and Discomfort
Addressing basic needs promptly is essential. Ensure your baby is well-fed and changed before bedtime. A comfortable, dry diaper and a full belly (but not too full!) contribute significantly to a baby's ability to settle into sleep without disruptions. It is completely normal for a baby to wake for feed or comfort in the middle of the night. As they get older, they’ll be able to go longer stretches without feeds or diaper changes - be patient and trust that your baby is waking to communicate a need.
Balancing Comfort and Independence
While sleep associations can be comforting, it's crucial to strike a balance. Introduce associations that are conducive to independent sleep. This might involve gradually reducing dependency on specific sleep aids, helping your baby learn to self-settle without constant reliance on external comforts. Again, this will take time and doesn’t need to involve crying, just consistency and persistence!
Enlisting the Help of Sleep Consultants
If persistent sleep challenges leave you feeling overwhelmed, consider seeking the guidance of a sleep consultant. Our incredible team serves all of southeast Michigan, including Detroit, Ann Arbor, Lansing, and the surrounding areas. We can provide tailored advice and strategies based on your baby's unique needs, offering support for your whole family.
Trust me when I tell you that your kiddo wants to sleep just as much as you do. And when they learn the art of sleeping independently they will LOVE sleep as much as you do. You both want the same thing, but you might be caught in a vicious cycle day in and day out. We’d love to help you break free from that cycle and help your child and YOU reconnect with sleep quickly and without confusion. Reach out today to get started!